Professional Matchmaker Shawn Alderton Explains the Pitfalls of Online Dating
While dating apps get a lot of press, they are not the best way to meet a new partner. Dating apps can be superficial, ineffective, and even dangerous. Shawn Alderton, the founder of Affluent Amore Matchmakers and the only certified matchmaker in Wisconsin, believes that a return to traditional ways of meeting someone special would benefit everyone. Here are the top 7 reasons why dating apps are something to be avoided.
When you select a date through an app, you are basing your decision on their photo and their very brief description of themselves. Prospective dates can post any picture they want, whether it is a picture of themselves from several years ago or of someone else entirely. They can say whatever they want about themselves, whether or not it is sincere. Dating apps provide a shallow view of the person’s qualifications.
Lack of Vetting
When you meet someone through a matchmaker or through a trusted friend, you can be more certain that the person is sincere. Meeting face to face is another good way to be introduced to someone new. You can take things slowly and get to know them one step at a time. Online dating often gives people the false sense of security that they know the person when in fact they only know what they have chosen to put forth.
Dangers of Online Dating
In extreme cases, online dating can even be dangerous. Whether you are being set up to be “catfished” or at serious risk of personal harm, online dating can be damaging. Online dating can provide criminals and those with less than savory motives with access to your personal life. Occasionally, online dating stories have tragic and preventable endings.
When you meet a date through friends, you already have an idea of how they will fit into your social network. When your prospective date is a friend of a friend, you will be able to understand how they interact with other people as well as knowing a little bit about their personal history before you even meet. This is not possible with online dating apps. Since it is best to know as much as possible about a person before you date, online dating apps are at a serious disadvantage.
Lack of Connection
When you meet someone through a dating app, it’s likely that they are only looking for a short-term connection. When you meet someone through a friend or a matchmaker, you will already know their intentions toward you. Your friend or matchmaker can pre-screen anyone who isn’t interested in the same kind of relationship as you. It is always possible that you will be mismatched by a friend, but it is less likely than if you are going on the skimpy information provided by a dating app.
According to Affluent Amore Matchmakers, when you meet someone through a dating app, there is a high likelihood that the relationship will not work out. You will be easily forgettable. Making a stronger connection offline either through face to face interactions or via a matchmaker’s introductions will help you reserve your dating time for those people who are worth the effort.
Wasting your time on bad matches is something most people have no interest in doing. Meeting someone through an online dating app is much more likely to be a dead end. Instead of wasting time on these matches, take the time to get to know someone offline. You’ll get a better sense of their personality and traits, and you won’t be disappointed by deceptive behavior.